I never realized how discouraging it can be - the amount of rejection involved...  There's rejection when people won't respond to my job inquiries and there's rejection when they do.  Twice now I've had really strong interviews that resulted in being chosen for the "Top Three" but the job still went to someone else - I suppose if I were up against the same people for all these jobs, that would mean the next one is mine by default, right?  Maybe.  But for now I'm just waiting for someone to call me and tell me that they want to set up an interview with me.

I hate being judged, but I guess that's the nature of job interviews; the employer is judging between the candidates to decide who they think would work best for their purposes.  What complicates matters is that they don't have a whole lot to go on when they're making a decision.  There's the resume (which I'll admit I've done my best to make unique and something appealing - hoping to get a favorable result), and if I'm really lucky I'll get to have a face-to-face.  That's where judging appearances comes into play and I'm not sure how I fair on that front.

When coming up with the title for this entry, I was really thinking about the illustration below... but also about the obstacles that one could encounter when finding a job - particularly challenges considering the way one looks.  For example, I don't have green hair and I think to have green hair would present an obstacle.  Over the years I have bleached my hair and managed to get a job, and right now my head is shaved, so I think I'm alright on the scalp portion of the exam.

Where I do have a challenge is with my piercings.  It's starting to become pretty commonplace to see men with their earlobes pierced - I'm not sure people really even notice that anymore.  I may be wrong.  I have also become oblivious to helix piercing (the cartilage found in the top of the ear).  When I got mine pierced, I really didn't give much thought to the idea that I'd ever try to find work in an environment where it could be considered a problem.  I figured I'd always be in a position where I'd be judged by my innate value and talents - not by the way I look... yet here I am.

I'll admit that last week, in an attempt to "look right" for a job interview, I had a pair of pliers out the night before in an effort to take the ring out.  Bad idea.  It hurt... a lot.  Thankfully, there was no blood as I gave up as soon as I realized the effort could result in an even more disastrous spectacle.  Instead, I emailed the potential employer to explain the situation and went to the interview the next day with my helix ring in place - and I didn't get the job.

I don't know if the two are related, but I do know there was a lot of anxiety involved in the decision about what to do.  On the one hand, I wondered if it was my pride that prevented me from submitting to what interviewers might consider normal at an interview, but on the other hand I struggled with the idea of giving in to the pressure to conform to "normal" at all.  If I happen to fall into a majority category fine - but I'm not one who seeks after it... I guess that's the artist in me.

All this to say that for better or for worse, I have to be me and trust that it'll be enough to get the job I'm supposed to have.  After all, if I have to hide aspects of myself to get the job in the first place, I'm not sure how long I'll last at that job in the long run.

The plus side to my unemployment is that it's affording me time to draw.  As I post this, I'm reminded of a silent goal I'd set for myself back when I started this blog: I wanted to try to create one new "something" everyday that I could post.  That didn't last long (I'm glad I didn't mention it at the time), but maybe it's something I'll be able to do this time.  We'll see.  For now, I hope you appreciate this green haired doll and I welcome any feedback (the the art or the rant)... and let me know if you hear of any job openings!