I think I've spent much of the last couple of months just coasting - going with the flow and trying to do what I needed to do to survive, but not much else.  As I look at that time now I realize how very dark it's been... I think I knew it all along but sometimes when you have your eyes closed you can't tell.  That's been me.  To those who are close to me: if you didn't realize it, don't feel bad... I'm pretty good at making it look good on the outside.

I'd lost touch with the church and ministry in general... and worse yet, I'd forgotten how to talk to God.  It's not that He's been absent from my life - I'm the one who's kept the distance... but it all came crashing down last night.  I'm not sure what the trigger was, or maybe it's the timing of Advent and the promise the season brings, but I hit bottom.  I turned a corner and talked to God... we still have a lot more work to do, but the relationship is on the mend - I'm on the mend.

I don't type this to sound alarmist or give people cause to worry about me.  Part of the healing work is authenticity and the need to be open about where I am.  If you want to pray I welcome that, but know that I intend to get myself back on track - with God's help... and you can hold me to it!  God is good and He's been teaching me despite myself over the last few months, weeks, and even days.

Thanks for sticking with me...  I'm constantly reminded how blessed I am.

Peace of Christ,

Kevvo