Can't We Both Wear the Pants?
I was reading one of Indy's local newspapers when I came across an article written by a woman who was formerly in a heterosexual marriage and is currently in a same-gender relationship. She was talking about the differences in both relationships, specifically in regards to the conventional sex-roles.
Tradition says that women are expected to stay home and take care of the children while men are to join the workforce and support the family. Women must nurture while men must discipline. While there are certainly many couples for whom this is an ideal model, it's not fair to say this is still the standard - particularly in a world where single parents try to fulfill all roles and we have women running for President. To continue in the "old way" of thinking only breeds anger and contempt in those who either don't desire to follow rules that don't make sense or are unable to.
This is where same-sex couples can help teach a new perspective.
When in a same-sex relationship, it wouldn't make sense for both partners to try to assume the same responsibilities - despite having the same sex. The result is negotiation and compromise - two key elements to a successful relationship, gay or straight. In order for the relationship to balance, each partner has to shoulder certain roles while conceding others to their partner.
"Neither of us just assumes or expects that the other is going to clean the house, cook the meals, have the baby or pay the bills. These and many other aspects of our relationship are always being negotiated. And when one of us does take on the primary responsibility for something, it's not because our gender role says we have to."
Doesn't it stand to reason that marriage will actually be strengthened when both partners are communicating and are doing things to prosper the family because they want to and not simply because of the body they were born with?
Maybe allowing gay marriage and the example it sets will actually strengthen the institute of marriage.
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