This is the Day
Last week I was at Starbucks enjoying my usual Sunday morning ritual: a little reading, a little praying, a little chatting and some chai thrown in for good measure. The reason I began this routine was that I became convicted about my quiet time and the witness that it can have in public places. I don't go to Starbucks with the intention that I'm going to outline the plan of salvation to anyone or that I'm even going to talk about Jesus with anyone - I go with the hope that God will create an opportunity for me to love someone. That could be demonstrated with a conversation, a smile, or in the case of last weekend - a muffin and coffee.
Sunday is the only day of the week that I'm there early so I don't know if the story's the same other days, but often when I arrive there are a handful of homeless people lounging in chairs in an attempt to get out of the cold. I see many of the same faces every week, but this weekend there was someone new. I didn't know his story and I didn't need to - he looked like a guy who could use a cup of coffee and maybe a conversation.
It's not the first time it's happened but I'm still embarrassed about the way I will try to find excuses when I feel the Holy Spirit impressing an idea on me. This morning was no exception: "How do I approach a stranger and offer to buy him food?" "What will happen to his pride?" "How do I know he's homeless or even hungry?" "Why doesn't someone else offer to help him out?"
Finally I made a deal with God; if He wanted me to buy this stranger breakfast then He would bring him to me. You see, during the time that I'd been watching and procrastinating, this guy had come in and out of the store a few times. By the time I'd made this declaration of un-faith, he'd left the store yet again and I was almost ready to head home myself... but I still had ten minutes left for God to bring this guy to me and allow me to commit a passive blessing. I'm so generous!
He didn't come back in. I left. I've not seen him again.
While I was trying to find justification for my inactivity, God was trying to find someone to love this guy. For less than five dollars I could've blessed a man - one of God's own kids - and likely been blessed in return... but it wasn't comfortable and I wasn't ready.
The fact is, I might never be ready. I've been talking about producing a book for the last few years but it's not gotten much past the initial scripting stages because I don't know how it's going to end. I'm not in full-time ministry because I don't know what it will look like, but my lack of knowing is limiting what ministry I could be doing in the present. I falter in feeding certain relationships because I'm afraid of rejection and the lack of authenticity stunts it before it can start. There are no guarantees and if I'm waiting for them I'll never be ready.
"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24 (NLT)
I may never get another chance to bless that guy and I will never have another chance to make the most of this moment. If I'm always waiting until I'm ready - until I think I have all my bases covered - then there's no need for faith... God becomes unnecessary to the equation. I have to do it now! I may not be ready and I may not do it right, but doing the best I can has to be good enough... God won't be limited by my failings but He can produce great things despite me.
I'm going to start the sketches for the book, trusting that the rest of the story will be inspired. I'm going to seize whatever opportunities I have to minister to whomever God puts in my path. I'm going to be authentic with the people in my life, confident in who I am in Christ.
...I'm going to cross the room and talk to the stranger...
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